If you follow me on any social media platform at all, or just here on the blog, you would know that instalove annoys the heck out of me.

But just recently, I read a few reviews for a certain book mentioning instalove, and basically generalizing that all instalove is unrealistic. Maybe I’ve made that generalization before myself, so I’m not judging, but those reviews definitely got me thinking.

First, let’s define instalove. According to Epic Reads, instalove is:

a) a literary device that allows book characters to quickly fall in love without getting to know each other first
b) a great way to accelerate make-out scenes

Okay, let’s ignore definition B for now. (It’s pretty true, but not the point right now!)

Being 15, I have zero experience when it comes to love. I guess that’s one reason why I read romance novels–to try and feel something I haven’t yet before.

Then let’s say that the heroine and the hero blurt out, “I’m so in love with you and if I can’t be with you I will probably jump into that ditch over there,” at the exact same time during their first meeting. Of course we readers go… WHAT THE FUCK?

BUT LET’S PUT OURSELVES IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES. Maybe we don’t believe in instalove because we haven’t experienced it ourselves, but what about the rest of the world? Go ask around–maybe you’ll discover that your professor wanted to kiss his wife when they first met, or maybe your favorite hairdresser thought I love him when she first met her boyfriend! Veronica Roth mentioned quickly falling in love at 22.

Fiction often does have some truth in it, so instalove couldn’t have popped out of nowhere! Someone out there has experienced it and shared it to the universe. Am I making any sense right now?

Let’s get back to the point. I don’t think instalove is necessarily untruthful. Sure, maybe we don’t like it, and it would make sense not to–I mean, where is the chemistry, am I right?? I can say that instalove is annoying (not all the time–some authors have pulled it off), but right now I can’t say that it’s unrealistic.


I APOLOGIZE FOR BABBLING. But do let me know your thoughts! Do you disbelieve in instalove? Are you okay with it? Do you loathe it? Did my post not make sense??

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About Aimee

Aimee loves being a little bookworm (okay–she doesn’t like being little). She also loves chocolates and sweets but is freaked out by the thought of possibly getting diabetes.

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64 thoughts on “Is Instalove Really Unrealistic?

  1. I see yout point about it being annoying. I definitely had the same outlook, but then I started reading more anf more books where instalove was a key feature, and I had to alter my view.
    I think some authors, like John Green and Jennifer E. Smith, wotk instalove into their stories in an incredibly believable way.
    I’m not so sure I believe in a deep, meaningful love being build from first glance, but I definitely think that it’s possibly to meet someone and form an instant attachment, and know they’re going to be special/the one.
    Anyway, those are just my thoughts.


  2. I think it depends on how it’s done. I can definitely believe in insta-crushes. It’s entirely possible for a person to be instantly attracted to another person – I’ve experienced that. And I think it’s easy to confuse those crushes for love, especially when you’re younger.

    Just the other day, I walked past a couple of teenagers (pesky kids!) making out and giving each other googly eyes behind my office building (I’m an old person now, 23). I remember seeing that as a teen as well, especially in my early teens, when kids in my grade first started dating and saying they were in love (at the age of 12/13).

    If you haven’t experienced ‘real’ love, who’s to say that those fluttery first crushes and relationships don’t feel like the real thing. (And now I sound really condescending, but I hope I’m getting my point across.)


  3. Ooh, I really like where you thoughts are going (and taking me) on this, Aimee. I’m not a fan of insta love at all- I guess when it’s written on the page and people are saying “love” within days of meeting it’s really easy to dissect and pick out the faults in. But when it’s done well, or in a way I enjoy, well then I am a whole lot less bothered by it. I guess it all depends on the circumstances and how the author figures it all. And I have wondered about whether or not instalove is present in daily life, guessing it is.
    I’m with you on liking particular books to experience something I haven’t felt myself. xx


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